Well, I’ve made my decision.
This is my last update. Maybe not forever. Maybe I’ll come back to it someday. I’m certainly not going to delete it–I’ve put way too many words into this thing. But I’m not going to be updating it regularly.
There were a lot of factors that helped me make this decision. For whatever reason, while I was stressing about how busy I was and everything, I felt inclined to read a post by one of my favorite bloggers that she put up back in early November about overachieving.
So I read it again. I read it again and I proceeded to read some of the comments. (there are over a hundred–the post got freshly pressed, as it deserved to be.) Most of them were just nodding and bemoaning their own overachieving tendencies, but there were two comments that really spoke to me. One was this line from a long comment: “My darling husband – just weeks before our wedding – asked me to please limit my “projects” to just two. TWO. (I am currently at eight-ish, I think)”
The other was something like in five years, that one B you got on a test isn’t really going to matter. At all.
The combination of these two thoughts made me realize that I really just had to sit down with myself and figure out–of all the projects I was doing now which ones I actually enjoyed, and which ones would actually matter in the future. (I’m positive the grammar in this sentence is wrong on so many levels but I can’t figure out how to do it properly. xD)
I first told myself that if I had any projects that fell into neither of those categories I was to drop it immediately. Just because I’d been doing it for so long or because I’d committed to it was not enough. It either needed to matter or I needed to enjoy it, preferably both, and if it was neither there was no point.
I dropped almost everything. I’m still practicing, obviously, and I’m still writing, but there are only a very few other things that made it.
The blog was not one of them.
Once I made all the decisions, I felt better immediately. I’m still behind on my writing and outlining, but suddenly I don’t care. Because I know that’s all I have to worry about. I just have to do that and find time to practice and do my normal school work and that’s it. I don’t have to worry about the other million things I’d been doing.
I feel like suddenly I’m not holding up the world on my shoulders anymore.
It’s a good feeling.
Hopefully I’ll be able to use this as a testament to myself in the future to not take on so many projects at once. Hopefully I’ll be able to remember that I am not, in fact, superhuman and there are not, in fact, unlimited hours in every day. For some reason every time I get a brilliant idea I seem to forget those two very important details.
It will probably happen again. What can I say? I have commitment issues.
But hopefully it won’t be for a very long time, at least.
Anyway. That’s that.